More Than I
by BlackAngel1
Summary: My first Digimon fic...be gentle...it's yaoi.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Digimon. Though DemiVeemon is my favourite.  
  
More Than I  
  
I sighed for maybe the hundredth time in the last hour. I know I wasn't hiding it very well and I didn't really care. I was so depressed it was depressing just to look at me. I'm sure I had a dark cloud surrounding me, warning people to stay away from me, and for the most part everyone did. Everyone except Gabumon and Tai. I can't say that that was a bad thing, but I know it wasn't a good thing.  
  
I hadn't been able to even look at Tai for a few weeks now, and in reality it had probably really been months. I know I wasn't fooling anyone when I kept telling them that nothing was wrong, something was wrong and it was something big.  
  
I had a crush on Tai.  
  
I remember when it first started. I was in band practice and we were taking a short break, mostly because the sound was screwed. While one of the guys fixed it because he was the one who knew it best, the rest of us sat down drinking soda and talking. Really they were talking, I was barely listening. Until one of them said my name.  
  
"So you have Sora and June falling at your feet. How do you do it man?" Jason asked. He was the drummer.  
  
I shrugged, "I don't know…I never really thought about it before." With that said they got into a conversation about their girlfriends. It was no big deal they did it all the time, but then Scottie remembered that he had seen two guys kissing each other and they all started with the fag jokes.  
  
When I didn't join in Jason said something. "What's wrong with you Matt? You like fags or something?" He was joking of course and I shrugged.  
  
"I don't know any." Liar. A voice inside my head hissed at me and it startled me at first. Then I racked my brain to figure out who I knew who was gay until I came to a scary conclusion. Me. By the time I had figured it out the others were talking about something else, they didn't stay on a subject too long to get too deep into it.  
  
That's how it came to my attention. And as soon as it had my attention it had it all. I noticed guys in a different way. I noticed girls in a different way too. I noticed my friends a different way. I noticed Tai and all doubt went out the window, which really scared me. Like I had told the guys in the band, I didn't know anybody who was gay…except me. Who was I going to talk to?  
  
And now, after months of being on an emotional roller coaster my ride was about to slam straight into the ground.  
  
"I'm gay."  
  
I looked at my brother in shock. He looked really nervous and really pale. "Okay." I said as the shock wore off a little. TK started to explain that he and Davis had gotten really close over the last few months and they had both come to the conclusion that they liked each other. TK wanted to tell me before someone else did because apparently a few of the guys in my band had spotted them a few times and were bound to realize who it was sooner or later. That hit me harder than Were Garurumon's Wolf Claw attack.  
  
It had been those two the guys had been talking about! Why hadn't I noticed? Oh, I had been pining over my own confused and messed up life for the passed few months, how was I suppose to notice the fact that my little brother had fallen in love with another guy! Stupid!  
  
"Really? You're okay with it?" He asked, looking up at me hopeful. I smiled and nodded, then held out my arms. TK literally launched himself into my embrace. "Thank you so much Matt! The way you had been acting these past months, I thought you knew something! Davis told his family…they didn't take it that good." He said softly.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him as he leaned his head on my shoulder, staying in my arms.  
  
TK sighed. "His sister flipped out on him and kept saying something like 'God, Matt would never be like that, why can't you be like Matt?' His parents were surprised but they said that they'd always love him." He slowly pulled away.  
  
"Where is he now?" I asked.  
  
"In my room. I didn't want to tell you with him here and then be like June. Just in case, you know?" He looked up at me hopeful again.  
  
I smiled, "Come on. Let's go see him. I'm sure he needs a hug too." I said as TK jumped up and we went to his room. I opened the door and was surprised to find Davis just sitting on TK's bed staring out into space. Patamon and DemiVeemon were sitting by the window looking at him sadly.  
  
A second after the door had opened however, Davis jumped up seeing that we had come in. I suspected that our hasty entrance had startled him and knowing Davis he had jumped to conclusions in thinking I was coming after him for doing anything to my brother. "Don't worry Davis. I understand." I said quietly.  
  
I didn't expect the reaction I got out of him. Tears flooded from his eyes and he ran to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my chest. He couldn't hold back the body racking sobs that convulsed through him. "I thought you'd hate me." He said through his gasping sobs and hiccups. "Or hate TK. Just like my sister." He cried.  
  
"I couldn't hate you or TK Davis." I said as I ran my fingers through his hair. I looked and saw TK standing back some. I smiled at him and held out my hand. He came over and joined us in a hug. I looked at the two. They needed my help more than I did. Sorry Tai, I'd have to get back to you later.  
  
  
  
  
  
So what'd you think for my first Digi fic? 


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